Once I was in a public restroom and the guy using the stall just murmured to himself “So much blood.” I don’t know if it was because I knew I was in there, but I hope he’s doin alright.

I overheard the photographer for the wedding I was at say “I took 4 edibles before this and have no idea what I’m doing”

Ok, once in college I heard these morons at the next table: G1: I need cigarettes G2: what do you smoke? G1: I usually smoke Camels G2: oh you mean the ones with the giraffe on the box? G1: yup! Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life….

Cute young woman in the bus, a ballet dancer, to her friend: “Yeah so he got a restraining order against me. So unfair. Yeah I hit him with a bar, but you know, he should have fought back. I wouldn’t have minded.”

Heard a kid asking someone on the phone if they wanted to do meth later. It was after school and we were both sitting on benches outside of the high school. Still weirds me out that he did not have the self-awareness to not talk about your tweaker shit with ppl around.

I was at a bar playing pool and heard some dude say “and then he asked me to pee on him”

My mom talking about bondage

I work at a fast-food chain. I usually make fries and such. While I was making fries I Suddenly overheard two of my colleagues talking. “I dropped one of the cheeseburgers. Could you make me another one?” “I won’t make another one. Just give it to him. “I can’t do that.” “Why not? It has paper around it. You aren’t supposed to eat the paper.”

“Too bad about the cancer.” Two well-to-do women talking about a mutual friend’s recent and apparently flattering weight loss.

“If it wasn’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.”

That vampires are real and a guy caught one trying to come into his window one night.

Overheard a girl talking about names for her baby. She liked the name ‘Chlamydia.’ Said it ‘sounded exotic, Greek maybe.’

walking onto Paradise Pier at Disney’s California Adventure, overheard a dad talking to his roughly 11-year-old daughter: “and remember, don’t let anybody except your husband see you naked.” still wonder to this day why that guy thought DCA was the place to have that kind of conversation lol

I use to work at a really fancy steak house with lots of private rooms. Well their door was open and I was in the adjacent room with the door open so I could hear everything. This drunk lady straight up told her friends she likes to sniff her own panties…

“I think Cinco De Mayo is on May 5th this year.”

In high school, my friends and I would eat lunch at a corner in the hallway. A group of girls would eat around the bend on the other side. One day there was an awkward silence among my friends and we all just heard one of the girls pretty loudly talk about trapping her boyfriend by trying to get pregnant.

“Go home to your wife, you love her more than me anyway!” – Argument overheard while I was out back having a smoke.